1:51 P.M.
i feel good today. will make today good. it's been very foggy and grey-skyed recently, i love it. i feel so happy in this kind of weather, the air biting. i've been neglecting my physical journal, i've written this before, but i think i do it often...haha.... lit candles. someone asked me why there's a man weilding a gun on my altar.
taking care of myself will always feel like something i just started doing, i think. as if i haven't been doing this for the better portion of my entire feeble life. distract yourself. with the exception of a few days at a time. life is taking care of yourself. huh... i've been thinking, the center of life is the will to live, and everything else is all our own retarded human shit; knowledge is suffering or whatever. those who seek knowledge are masochistic. just some thoughts. i don't know anything...haha....unless it's for suffering.
illustrating and consuming media for comfort. i haven't even added it to fourthlaw;illust because i haven't exactly been using my artistic eye... just doing what feels good, to distract me. those personalities that always feel so far away. i thought i knew you, but i really guess i didn't. i still love you. alright?
yes
lots of cleaning today. i seem to do that every day. the fire alarm went off this morning. but otherwise i've spend the entire day inside, napping. trying to find the keroro gunso movies to watch.
watched it. aaaaxxaxaxaxa. click to enhance.... i like this one a lot. lol... lit candles and now will do my bedtime prayer(9:42?) for once and tomorrow will be good. monday always feels like a dream. people all around... it's surreal. but it will be good. i know it...
currentlyreading : interview with the vampire
it's a sin
it seems there's something wrong with some of the files on the index, and the site icon... maybe i should stop using website file hosters.. idk anything about that though
onto more important things, today is december fourteenth ! praying for those lost and those seeking peace. it's also sunday... isn't it great that 12.14 fell on a sunday ? i am happy. it is 10 : 15 p.m., and i've done my routine. i'm proud, it's hard to take care of myself this time of year. not that it's hard, it's just easier to end up not doing it. i have a lot of work to do, and i did the bare minimum and a bit less this weekend... but i'll be deathy alone in a week, and i'll have room to breathe. i went to church today, there were those candles that one is allowed to add to by lighting their own candle. i liked this, it reminded me of the same thing in the york minister. other than going out, i really didn't do much today... but that's ok. i've been doing a lot out of the house, i need time to do nothing. when i'm pushed into doing things and going places, it's harder to take care of myself. i mean, clean myself, work out, present myself nicely.
